Prayer
Chiwan Choi
invited to dinner
across mother
who waits for my fingers to uncurl
the emptiness of our sacrifice
lifted by my hands above this love that tries to bind us
to an old name that no longer
knows the road home
she is gone, i sing
she is never coming back, i whisper
quiet so the dinner is uninterrupted in its plates and bowls
and i hold to release the ghost of our hope
we act out our prayers as tableaux of silence
remembering who we are to each other
by the placement of our chairs
until in the brief movement of our feet on the cold floor
we become untraceable
what will come
is the morning
of my body sectioned
by the light uninvited
while i lie suspended in the gap
of losing my life without creating one to replace my mistakes
and mother's face holding creases in mid-scream
and father planting this language he never let himself learn
how do we find mercy
this is the end of us
son my son my love my
~~~~~
Chiwan Choi is the author of The Flood (Tía Chucha Press) and Abductions (Writ Large Press). His current project is Ghostmaker, a book he is writing, presenting, and destroying during the course of 2015. Chiwan is also a founding partner at Writ Large Press, a DTLA based indie publisher.